Wednesday, January 14, 2009

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, we lost the most beautiful person dear to our hearts. Miss DeAnna Destiny Robinson passed. She left us and joined our heavenly father home. She left us memories that we will never forget and memoriable moments that are so dear to us. DeDe we miss you. Mama talks about you as if you were here. I miss you so much sometimes I wonder how I have made it through these tough days without you here. Then I begin to realize that you are here with me in spirit. You are looking down over me every step of the way. You are watching over mama and making sure that mama is on the right track ro doing what she needs to do. Mama is in school and trying to accomplish the remainder of these classes. Once these classes are finished, I will be so excited. I will walk across the stage a proud person. You have given me the reason to push forward to accomplish these things. So one day we will meet and I will get a chance to see how fine you have grown. Well let me go and pay attention to this nonsense in this class. Everyone is talking over everyone. I love you and daddy does too. O yeah he talks about the things that you would have been doing, if you were here. We miss you a lot and we will meet one day.
We Love You
Mom and Dad

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

R.I.P. Carly Nicole Elliotte

On Sunday, March 9, 2008, Carly Nicole, my precious one who use to dance for me all the time, passed away! I cant even imagine how her mother is feeling but I do know that she is not accepting things right now. Rachel this is for you. No matter what I am here. 2 or 3 am call me and talk to me. I am here for you. I know how I felt when I lost DeDe but I cant even attempt to imagine how you are feeling now that you have lost CC. I know that she is smiling down on you because you were the most awesome mother that she could ever have. Ryan was the best father as well. She is smiling down on both of you and she is whispering quietly to let you know dont worry about anything, she is ok. She is in Gods care. I love you and will always be here for you. Whenever you need me like I say call me. I will do whatever it takes to help you through this time of need.

Love you

DeDe ~n~ CC
**Yll play nice together and I love you both.

Monday, February 11, 2008

M i S s I n G y O u

Hey pumpkin! I know you cant read this but I had to write somewhere. I miss you so much!! How is everything going up there? I know that it is more pleasant and peaceful than it is down here. Everyone misses you. I got a card from Ms. Wendy yesterday out of the mail. I am gonna call her and let her know how everything is going. Do you like the flower I put on your grave? I hope you do. It's pink and very pretty. CC is doing very good. She is still fighting and giving all that she has. And I know she will pull through. I started a new job today. I like it so far but I am looking for something that will work around my school schedule and not have mama so tired all the time. I will come visit you Wednesday cause I have to work Thursday and it will be late when I get off and I dont want to come down late at night. But I want you to know that I love you so much and I love you no matter what. I am taking care of your tiger. I promise I wont hurt him. But the best thing is that he is taking care of me. He is watching over me. Well I'm about to end this. I will come back another day soon, most likely on your birthday to talk with you for a while. I LOVE U!!


Sunday, January 20, 2008

My Precious Angel

To those of you that were following my story, sorry I have not been on lately but My Precious Angel DeAnna Destiny "DeDe" Robinson passed away on January 14, 2008. It has been hard but as the days go by I just think about when I will be able to see her again. I know that she is okay and that she is well taken care of. I know that she is smiling down on me. I do some days just wish that I could hold her just one more day but I know that one day will come soon with our Heavenly father. I just ask that each and everyone of you continue to pray for me as I go stronger each and everyday with the Lord on my side. But thanks for each of your prayers. I love you and may God Bless you!


Sunday, January 13, 2008

DeAnna's Support Team & Her biggest fans

Wendy Pennell (Ms. Wendy): Primary morning nurse since Nov. 19, 2007. Thank you! God sent her to us for a reason. She is truly our guardian angel. DeAnna knows the voice and the touch of Ms. Wendy as she knows my voice and touch. She responds to Ms. Wendy very well. Ms. Wendy is a true angel who took care of my daughter while she was in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) until my daughter was moved to the CVICU (Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit). Ms. Wendy still visits and checks on her just like she did when she was in the NICU. Love You Ms. Wendy!
Amy Buran (Ms. Amy/ personal photographer): Ms. Amy has been with us since the fist weekend of DeAnna's life. Ms. Amy is her primary night nurse. She too is also our guardian angel. DeAnna responds to her just like she responds to me. She loves the baths that Ms. Amy gave to her. She sometimes would be upset but she knew that it was to make her smell better and make her feel better so that she would have a good nights sleep. She also took care of my DeAnna in the NICU until she moved to the CVICU! Ms. Amy still visits as if she was taking care of her in the NICU. Love You 2 Ms. Amy!
Ms. Kearston (sorry I don't know her last name): Just like Ms. Wendy and Ms. Amy, Kearston was awesome just like them. She is a sweet person that I have become to love more and more everytime I talk with her. Just yesterday (Jan. 12, 2007) I just called her and asked her if she would meet me at the hospital to talk and she said "sure" and she did. She was right there to talk to me and to listen to me (I was very talkative) but she still listened to me. She even gave me insite on some things to think about. Love You Girl!
Rachael (the mother of "CC): This is my sister. We have been together since November 18. Her daughter Carly Nicole was born at 28 weeks gestation and only weighed 13 ozs. Just three days before my daughter DeAnna.( She has been there through the thick and thin. Whenever I need someone to talk to about anything from personal things to the precious moments that I have spending with my daughter, she is there. She is also going through tough times. I ask that you keep her in your prayers and continue to pray for her and her family.
Jamie & Jason (parents of Will & Ryan): The family I met on a day that was very emotional for them. It was the day that we all experienced the day of seeing our precious ones hooked up to all the machines that you have no clue about. I am still thinking about you guys and still praying for you. I know that the boys are doing great. They are strong just like their parents. Please continue to pray for this family!
Laura and Matt (Handsome Little Cole): I met this family while they were looking for the waiting room that they would be waiting in while their son was having heart surgery on Thursday morning. I began to talk to them and continued to see them passing through in the hospital as they were coming to see their precious one Cole. They wrote about me on their blog and I am sharing their e-mail and hopefully they do not mind (

January 11, 2007/ 24 Hours

On Today, my mother and I arrived at the hospital ready to talk to a man we met Tuesday night named Mr. Jimmy. Mr. Jimmy is here because his grandson is fighting RSV (a respiratory virsus). Ready to talk to him about the good works God has done and what he is about to do. Well on my way to see my daughter, the doctor stops me and says that I need to talk to you. I visited my daughter and I talked to her and I rubbed her head to let her know that I was there. When I finished visiting my daughter (DeAnna) I go to the private family room to talk to the doctor. The doctor says that there are some problems. The problems are that her heart functions are not what they suppose to be. The main function that they are looking for is for her main blood vessel to strenghthen and pump blood through and pump it through faster. If her heart functions don't improve within 24 hours then they will bring the family in to talk about taking her off the ECMO machine and letting her pass away. Well my mother asked the doctor "why 24 hours and why not 48 hours or why not Tuesday?" The nurse tells my mom that based on past experiences that if the heart functions don't strengthen within 24 hours then they don't have a chance to survive. Another function that the doctor was looking for is the function of her kidneys, bladder, and liver. The doctor says that all her functions are dieing and that they don't have much of a chance to survive either. After talking with the doctor, I took the information very hard. My heart dropped and it went sinking. But my mother said "Rejoice! Girl you better rejoice!" I took that and just closed my eyes for a second. Then she said "We will take 24 hours and watch what God has in store." I was so emotionmally worried that I stayed at the hospital to just let her know that I was there with her through ever step of the way. I checked on her throughout the night. As the morning approached I said that I was just going to check on her and go home to take a shower and come back. While visiting I run into the doctor again and she says "once you finish I would like to talk to you about some things." After visiting I talk with the doctor and she says "nothing has become worse and nothing has improved but we will wait another 24 hours." Like the first time, I took it hard but not to hard. I said "okay! Thank you!" I called my mom and I told her the news and she says "ok! Thank God! Another 24 hours!" Well it is today (Sunday, January 13, 2008) and she is still holding on. We still have another 24 hours and will continue to have 24 hours until she is well enough to go home.

Another 24 hours

Nurse: Timara
ECMO Nurse: Nancy
Heart Rate-150
SpO2(oxygen level)-92
Blood Pressure-29(which needs to be 30 or above)
Today has been a good day! The results of the Echo Cardiogram show that "nothing has gotten worse and nothing has improved." The nurse that was taking care of her this morning said that they had to decrease her sedation some because they did not want her to sleep so much. I did the normal thing that I do everyday. She likes to have her head rubbed and she likes for me to talk to her. She smiled for me and she did squeeze my finger. She was showing me that she is doing ok and that she is fine. She is showing mama that she is a big girl! I am very proud of her and I know that she will pull through. Just continue to pray for us as we go through this trial.
God Bless!